You deserved it 91
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Today, I found a receipt from a lingerie store for some nice garments. When I asked my wife about it, she stammered and said it was a birthday surprise, then got mad at me for ruining it. My birthday isn't for almost ten months and she hasn't been sexual with me for years, much less spontaneous. Nice try. FML
You deserved it 147
Today, I bought a new pack of "feminine wipes" on my way over to my boyfriend's house after a long day of work. He saw them in my purse and sweetly told me I shouldn't be so self conscious. Later on, when he was going down on me, he said, "I take back what I said earlier." FML
You deserved it 9 143
Today, my girlfriend told me that she prefers to be on top because I appear skinnier than I actually am. FML
You deserved it 282
Today, my coworker and I agreed to come clean and tell our fellow employees that we have been secretly dating for a while. Before we could, I received a promotion. I'm now his boss. FML
You deserved it 1 917
Today, while at the bakeshop, I got bored waiting in line so I rested on the glass protecting the cupcakes. Turns out there was no glass. I had to pay $50 to cover all the mess and had to walk out of the bakeshop with icing all over my butt. FML
You deserved it 79 842
Today, I gave up my seat on the subway for an elderly man. He thanked me by grabbing my ass. FML
You deserved it 5 261
Today, I was written up at work for not smiling. It’s winter, therefore smiling will cause my lips to crack and bleed. I drink 8 glasses of water a day. FML
You deserved it 133
Today, my boyfriend of a couple of weeks mixed up my name with his ex wife's name. After he said it, he looked at me and said, "You knew it was going to happen." FML
You deserved it 7 799